“ I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.”
~Romans 7:15 (NIV)
I was back at the doctor again this week. Still trying to regain control of my body from whatever pesky little bug decided to take up residence in January. I totally lack energy and am exhausted almost all the time. On Monday I will be going to the lab to get blood drawn to test for mononucleosis.
Do I think I have mono? Absolutely not. In fact, I will be shocked if the test comes back positive. What I think I have is a case of knowing what I need to do to be healthy, yet, for the most part, doing the polar opposite.
It came to my mind today that I can’t remember the last time I ate a vegetable or drank a plain glass of water. I find that both shocking and scary. As much as I want to eat and drink healthy, I most often find myself fueling my body with processed foods and quenching my thirst with chemically laden diet soft drinks. Instead of getting up in the morning to stretch and exercise my body, I hit the snooze button and get out of bed at the last possible minute to get ready for work and out the door.
In the verse above from Romans, Paul is talking about his frustration with the fact that he really wants to do what is right by God, yet, often finds that his sinful nature causes him to do the exact opposite. It is a frustration with which all Christians can identify. We do the wrong thing even though we desperately want to do the right thing!
In one way or another we have all experienced this self-inflicted suffering. Whether it’s eating unhealthy food, lack of exercise, not spending quality time with our children, gambling away our hard earned money, working too much or any number of other bad habits…we have all been there.
We know what we should be doing. We know what we need to be doing. Yet, we don’t do it or worse yet, we do the exact opposite!
The Enemy doesn’t come to us easily recognizable in a red jumpsuit with horns and a tail. He finds his way into our everyday lives through the little things…the distractions that keep us from quality time with our loved ones, the television show we get sucked into instead of going outside for a walk, or the box of donuts on the lunchroom table.
As I got on the scale at the doctor this week, I pretty much wanted to cry. It may just be a number, but to me it represents not only how unhealthy I have become physically, but also, how much of a foothold Satan has gained in this area of my life.
I stand firm in my resolve to persevere in prayer in these areas and make a serious commitment to living a healthier lifestyle.
With God all things are possible! Who knows…this may even be the week I eat a vegetable!